1. |
Face Down
02:32
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I wake up face down
but it just reminds me I’m alive
Despite the haze and brain fog
I stand up and stagger to the light
Shiver, shake, and cringe
at the thought of this being my life
It’s not how I dreamt it would be
at the ripe old age of 35
But I’m alive
I can still be grateful for today
I have food to eat and air to breathe
Clothes to wear and a place to live
People I love and love to give
I wake up face down
but it just reminds me I’m alive
I guess I chose to be here
When I chose that same old stupid vice
I try to shake it off
But the shame rots me from inside
It’s not how I dreamt it would be
at the ripe old age of 35
But I’m alive
I can still be grateful for today
I have food to eat and air to breathe
Clothes to wear and a place to live
People I love and love to give
I can still be grateful for today
The sun still rose, the birds still sing
The touch of the wind upon my face
That beautiful smell after it rains
Yeah I’m alive
Yeah I’m alive
My messiness
Reminds me I’m alive
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2. |
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It’s time to change, and I want to believe it starts today
I’m tired of waking up, with regret running through my veins
Tearing myself down, tangled up all my insides
Smiling at the world, and saying I’m fine
I’ve said these words before, and yet here I am
No closer to recovery, and lost more of me
With less room to breath, trying out anxiety
99% committed, so I always have an out
It’s better to be honest than impressive
One is a work in process
The other is inauthentic
I’m a mess, I’m no better than anyone
Another distracted soul, chasing a garbage truck
Compromising my values, ‘cause they’re inconvenient
At least that’s what I do in secret
I learned to manage my disorder
Instead of healing it
But now I’m pulling back the curtain
And letting in the light
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3. |
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The first million is the hardest
Still somehow I don’t mind
Chasing after what makes me come alive
I get up and
Strap myself in
For another day
On the road less traveled
It’s rough terrain
And it rains most days
I duck my head and
Lean in to it (Suffer through it / Because it’s worth it)
The first million is the hardest
Still somehow I don’t mind
Chasing after what makes me come alive
The best things are
Often hard
Like following your heart
Accepting who you are
Creating the life you want
Like actually choosing to start
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4. |
Peace
02:19
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I’ve been watching you sleep
And I can’t explain what it does to me
Oh to see you in peace
As opposed to your waking reality
And it’s hard to sit by
Watching as you pay with your time
Pleasing to be liked
Instead of choosing your life
But it’s not just you, it’s me
I’m coaxed around with a bit and bridle
With no presence to think
About where what I’m doing leads
And I can’t, I can’t believe
I can’t, I can’t break free
And I can’t, I can’t believe
That I can’t, I can’t break free
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5. |
Technology
03:08
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There’s something standing in between
In the seams between you and me
It’s a little bit hard to see
When you’re locked in and feeding
And even if you try to break free
It’ll sound a tone and start shining
Desperate to pull you back in
To distracted anxious living
Despite the claim to fill you up
It’ll strangle you until you choke
Insist you need it cause you’re not enough
Peer pressure to join the club
But it will never satisfy
It’ll never bloom a peaceful life
It’ll just grind up against
Any good that is left
It’s never just us because
Every notification is a nudge
Regardless of what you say
It pulls you away from me
We’re not meant to be plugged in
Every second of every day
We need to connect with ourselves
And each other face to face
Click another hit
Scroll a little more
Autoplay all day
Check your like score
Portrayed it’ll save
Designed to enslave
How did I lose another night?
On this vampire sucking away my life
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6. |
A - Admit
01:41
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Everything is meaningless like chasing the wind
So I drain it dry and start again
Throw it away and find a shiny thing
Something new to save me
But it never does
I am a sinner and I know it
I’m just searching for wholeness
Checking off all the wrong things one by one
And feeling empty when it’s done
You don’t stop chasing no matter where I run
You don’t see prodigal, You see your son
I am a sinner and I know it
I’m just searching for wholeness
Truly it’s only found in relationship with You
I can’t do this on my own
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7. |
B - Believe
01:42
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I believe in who You are and what You did
I believe You gave Your life for all my sins
It’s not about me
It’s all about You
The best thing for me
Is to be more like You
I will get down on my knees hands held up high
Surrender everything and give up my life
It’s not about me
It’s all about You
The best thing for me
Is to be more like You
Everything is meaningless; like chasing the wind.
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8. |
C - Confess
01:55
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Yeah I believe
But that doesn’t mean anything
Cause if I don’t change
Then it doesn’t matter what I think, say, or believe
The only thing that matters is what I do
I turn away from myself to follow You
Confess that Jesus is Lord and I am Yours
Accept the gift of the cross and be made new
Am I another lukewarm whitewashed tomb?
Like a dog to vomit; is my heart not in it?
Everything is meaningless like chasing the wind
If I’m in the throes of Sheol, You are there
Loving on the least of these, You are there
Watching every secret thing, You are there
AND YOU ARE HERE!!
The only thing that matters is what I do
I turn away from myself to follow You
Confess that Jesus is Lord and I am Yours
Accept the gift of the cross and learn to trust You too
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